What is Love?

I’ve always thought of February as the month for love. Valentine’s Day is in the middle of the month and I was married on the 26th, many years ago. I’ve talked before about my own marriage and you can read my love story in another part of this website. Recently Dear Abby answered a letter from a heartbroken reader who was trying to get over a failed romance. Abby had a good definition of what real love is and I’ll paraphrase it here. She said someone who loves you makes you feel strong instead of dependent. He or she appreciates you for the person you are and isn’t threatened by your successes. He or she supports you when you do well, celebrates your triumphs and hugs you after your tragedies. Sound familiar? I hope so. I know when I was struck by Cupid’s arrow, I was more interested in chemistry than those important things. Luckily, I was supported in every way. No one was more thrilled than my husband when I sold my first book. I was a young, immature girl when I met and married him. He helped me grow and change, encouraged me in every way. And the chemistry was good too.

It’s funny. I write romance because I love to read about that first meeting, the way two people connect and find the one person who makes them stronger, feel loved and cherished. I read those books long before I met a man who could do that for me. I was looking for a fantasy man. The reality was much different. There were money issues, the details of daily life that dragged at us. Men raised in the era John was didn’t understand shared chores in the home. I had to battle for every emptied dishwasher or trash run. Argh. Chemistry can only take you so far. Know what I mean? But if there’s more, the respect, the encouragement that Dear Abby was talking about, then you work through the daily grind and come out the other side. Raising children and living through lay-offs may make bedtime lose its magic for a while. But a hug at the right time, an empty dishwasher just when you needed it, can go a long way to helping you remember why you fell in love in the first place.

I write about vampires. Weird paranormal creatures. But the emotions are all human. Glory has been looking for true love ever since she found herself a widow in 1604. Yes, she has Jerry. But she doesn’t trust that bond. He’s too controlling, too protective. And she’s too insecure to believe that he won’t eventually tire of her. Yes, that’s crazy on her part. But insecurity isn’t always rational. So what if he’s stuck around for four hundred years. He could finally walk away. So she keeps looking around. Thinking maybe she should have other options. Wrong? Probably. I don’t know if you’re Team Jerry, Team Rafe or Team Ray. But I’ve always been Team Glory. She has to realize that she needs to relax and just see what happens if she believes in herself. There’s a lot to be said for loyalty. And chemistry. Glory needs to decide where she finds both.

So how did you meet your love? Or are you still looking? Comment here for a chance to win an autographed copy of my March 5 release, Real Vampires Know Hips Happen, and a $25 gift card to either Amazon or Barnes & Nobles. I’ll pick a lucky winner on that release day, March 5. Good luck! And I can’t wait to read your stories.

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38 Responses to “What is Love?”

  1. Hi Gerry!
    Well where I met my love of my life is a story! I met him at this club called Funky Town! I know right no! you never find love at a club right? I did and on April’s fools day to boot! almost seven years later he is still my love but he is so much more than that. He is my best friend, my rock, my lover, my companion, my most annoying irritating at times person too :). But he got me to reach for my dream and actually succeed and accomplish it, finish my schooling and get into the career field I have always wanted to be in. So some may say fools rush in but this fool is sure glad that not only did I rush in but so did my love! (On a bonus he is from Kenya so I can say I have an exotic love too!)

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  2. Wendy Poling Says:

    Have to admit, I missed out on all the dating and romance in the beginning. I made a bet with my boss that I could get the nerdy guy in the corner to come out of his shell. Four years later we’re still going stronger each day. I had no plans for dating or anything like that at all, much less even liking the guy! He’s my absolute best friend though and always is there to push me to be better. I am by nature a lazy person and the achiever in me is always telling me to get up and go do something! It’s nice to have someone who backs that little achiever up so I don’t just melt into the couch. I love him for that (some days more than others lol)

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    • Ms. Cathy Sullins Says:

      Not telling an animal lover, who has a cat, dog, ferret or whatever that they’ve had for years, to get rid of their furry baby, when you start dating & going out with them! My Dale didn’t when we met & started dating, then moved it together, then eventually got married. We’ve been togehter around 25 years, 19 married, & we’ve had cats; (I had them when we met), 1 very special dog, Ginger, the Cocker Spaniel girl that his parents couldn’t keep anymore when they moved into a senior’s building, & 5 ferrets. Ginger was a very special girl. She hated other dogs, but loved cats & was learning to love ferrets. Dale never asked & expected me to give anything up. IMHO, if a man or woman tells someone they just started dating to give up their animal, they should be shown the door!

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    • Nerds are sexy! Good for you.

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  3. Its funny I was in a similar boat when I met my husband, I was 19 he was 26 I was straight out of high school he had been to college and been working in the real world for 7 years. I recently made a scrap book (digital) of our first year together and it showed me really how young and insecure I was then. now I am a strong independent (albeit married) woman I have the courage and inner strength to take on the world and it feels great.
    We met online and then I moved away from home to be with him smartest move I ever made =)

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  4. Chris Jones Says:

    I met my husband while waiting to leave for basic training (delayed entry program). Me and my best friend went to a club called the Flaming Mug and he bumped into me on purpose when I walked by him. That started us talking and 23 yrs later we are still together. (I agree with Amy, but it worked out for us too) He is my partner, my love, my friend and a wonderful father. He always encourages me when I get some idea no matter how crazy and still finds me pretty 🙂 He even watches the vampire shows with me, lol.

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    • You ought to go back to the Flaming Mug sometime. Just to see if it’s still there. Fun story.

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    • Chris,
      It is like a modern fairy tale isn’t it? To find true love in urban life? I love it! My friends that are still single always say I want to find love like you did in the most unexpected place at the most enexpected time! It always makes me smile! I loved reading your love story! Mine watches the vampire shows with me but grumbles but will always buy me my vampire books cause he knows I love them! 🙂

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  5. I met my true love in pre-school without even knowing it. Years later my aunt was trying to introduce me to a guy named Walter. I kept turning her down I was not interested in dating anyone at the moment because I wanted to concentrate on working. A couple months later we met by chance at a club. I was there with a few of my friends from work and I saw this guy sitting by himself and walked over and introduced my self and we hit it off from there and have been inseperable since and that was 9 years ago. I guess if your destined to met someone it will happen. A couple months into dating we realized we were in each others pre-school pictures. I am really glad that I decided to go out that night with my friends. 🙂

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  6. Still looking 🙂 I’ve recently realized that each guy that’s wrong for me is bringing me one step closer to the one that’s right.

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  7. I was visiting with a guy that wanted to date me, when in walked his friends, one of whom was my husband-to-be. He was goofy, tall and handsome. I felt an instant “pull” toward him. Our mutual friend was now invisible to me, but didn’t want to share who I was. After much begging, he gave my hubby my #. We talked for 4 hours on the phone the next day. The day after that, he picked me up from college during my long break for the day and we had “lunch” (Wheat thins, a V8 for me, a soda for him). That was 21 years ago. We could talk and laugh for hours right from the get-go and wanted to spend any time that wasn’t work or school together . We shared our worlds with each other and introduced each to new experiences. We have had our share of hurt and struggles, but so much joy, love and happiness, too. Our love is about spending time together, being silly, quiet, tender, encouraging, supportive, curious, and everyday busy. Our kids are loving, thoughtful, and active. We all work together to make our lives happen and be there for each other for all of the good, and the bad, life and the good Lord sends our way.

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  8. I went to a party because I knew a man that I really liked would be there. He never showed. It was a Halloween party and I was dressed like a dead girl. I met a Zombie. He asked me out. We went to a club the next week with a bunch of his friends. He was still a Zombie but his room mate was very much alive. 20 years later I’m still with the room mate.

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  9. Rhiannon Britney Says:

    I met my beLOVEd at the book store I worked at. She and her parents would come in to browse around and get a few things several times a week and we would talk. Her father passed away just before her birthday so they stopped coming in. There was another couple that came in a lot too that were elderly and they stopped coming in also. Well, a few weeks went by without seeing these 2 couples and then one day they both showed up (minus one) and I being the social butterfly that I am went over and asked what had happened to them. The elderly couple explained that they had gotten sick and were now better. My sweetie said that her father had passed. Well, I told them that I wanted their names and numbers so that I could keep in touch with them and in case they stopped coming in someone would be able to check on them. My sweetie and I started to go out once very couple of weeks as a break from our parents (we were caring for our elderly parents). Well, one nite I asked her if she had feelings for me and she responded as friends. 3 days later I received a text saying that she liked me more than friends and was that weird? I replied NO it was not and we have been dating since then. This coming Tuesday, Feb 27, 2013 will be 5 years together! And we are still NOT tired of each other! 😉

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  10. Belinda Mondagarian Says:

    The love of my life is, well, the love of my life. It was a strange meeting in that I worked for a lawyer and we had clients to defend in auto accidents. My boss came in and said I had to do whatever necessary to get the insured in and prepped for a deposition. I called and called his home number and got no answer. This was back in the days of no cell phones so it wasn’t an easy task. I decided to call his place of business and left a message. He called me and was a little disturbed but after explaining everything and why I called, he came to the office. That was it – I saw little cupids all over the room when I walked in to talk with him. One thing led to another and within six months he was meeting my parents (a cross-country trek), a marriage and a big move back to Illinois. That was 36 years ago and through all the years we have managed to survive through everything put in front of us and are looking forward to many more years of wedded bliss to come.

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  11. I found mine without looking for it. I was just divorced and didn’t want anything serious. I was enjoying my freedom. I did find it in an unexpected fwb guy. He was sweet and was happy to let me have my freedom. nsa as it was we fell for each other. He moved in 6 years ago and we have been together ever since. It is one of the best things in my life, as our son is the best thing in our lives. 😉

    We grow and learn together and he lets me be me, doesn’t hold me back at all.

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  12. cecile alfaro Says:

    My story about the love of my life is funny.. He stills tell people what I did to him.. Lol. I was in my cousin sports.bar dancing and having fun with my friend when this guy came up to meet me. He said we met before , that my cousin interusde us but be honest I didnt remember..lol So I told him I was my twin sister Selenas.. He believed me and said he was sorry and walked away.. So the following weekend I go back to the same place again and while i was going in he was coming out and said you tricked me lol you dont have a twin I ask your cousin.. Lol I was soo mad how could my family betray me but we got to talk and dance and ever since been together for 11 yrs three kids And still in love.. Now im happy with my cousin for being a jerk and telling him lol

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  13. I always tell everyone I met my husband when I was living with a bunch of other men 🙂 In college six of us rented a town house off campus–four were guys! We were all good friends, and one had served in the army. One weekend, one of his old army buddies came from out of state to visit him. I was working third shift at ahotel, going to classes full time during the day and working extra hours in the IL Army National Guard– so my friend woke me up to introduce us. LOL it would have to be true love for him to meet me and see how I look when I wake up after burning the candle at both ends. March 18th is our 16th wedding anniversary! It amazes me how you can love someone so much and then find that as time goes on that love can actually grow and multiple to something even greater then what you dreamed.

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  14. Michelle Says:

    My husband and I are high school sweethearts. But we hit a bump in the road in college and we were apart for over 2 years. He was engaged to another girl and I was happy being single! Then out of the blue one day he called me. Told me that he had broken off his engagement with his fiance and just wanted me to know. We started hanging out again, and we realized that we never stopped loving each other. Now 8 years later, we have 3 beautiful boys and are still laughing at each other!

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  15. Still looking for my special Geeky Man (I am 41). In the meantime, I will continue to enjoy my own company, that of my friends, family and excellent paranormal love stories. Glory St. Clair is wonderful fun thank you for bringing her to us. ❤

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  16. stacydee21 Says:

    I met my hubby in High School, and fell madly in love. He had no idea who I was. We actually “met” met in 2003 and got married in 2004. I found my Freshman yearbook not long ago and pointed myself out. “Oh! Didn’t you walk into me or something?” “Um. I may or may not have walked into you to see if you smelled as good as I thought you did… You did not.” But hey, I’m keeping him despite his stinkyness!

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  17. Hi Gerry
    I met my man at a local club dance, we were engaged for four years then broke up, I married twice elsewhere, after my second husband passed away we met up again 14 years ago & have now been married for 11 years.

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